This week I spoke to Brenden, who is the founder of MasterTalk, a YouTube channel he started to help the world master the art of public speaking and communication. He coaches purpose driven entrepreneurs on how to master their message and share their ideas with the world. He dropped some incredible bombshells in the episode, so I hope you do listen in!
So Brenden got me thinking about the top three goals I have. And I started thinking about three goals I really want to achieve and why. What became more apparent was not just the goal setting activity he gave us, but also the fact that once we know what those goals are, we need to focus on them and eliminate the noise. How many of you struggle with procrastination? Lately I really am! And I've realised I tend to do this when I feel overwhelmed that my goals are distant. So much self sabotage! And then in turn I feel crappy that despite knowing my goals, I am not measuring up to them. Talk about pressure and that vicious cycle!
Last year I learnt so much about surrender. And it comes and goes in seasons. Some days I am brilliant at it, and positive talk really powers me through. I believe in the power of prayer too and that keeps me grounded and focused more on moment to moment. And when we operate that way, we aren't fearful of what lies ahead.
"What we think is a fear of failure is actually a fear of success."
When I become too focused on what I have the ability to change, it stresses me out. Am I doing everything I possibly can? Well yes and no. For someone who is a bit of a perfectionist and control freak, there is always more I could be doing. But then am I ever satisfied? Is it important to me that I feel fulfilled and satisfied? Absofuckinglutely! So then growth is really one of the top goals. Constantly evolving and growing, not staying stagnant, gives me alot of happiness! And yes that might be me attaching worth to the act of being productive, but if that makes one happy, that can't be underestimated.
So how do we stop that vicious cycle of self sabotage? If we get clear on the goals then why do we get in our own way.? Anthony Meindl (Acting coach/Author) said something which has stuck with me, that sometimes what we think is a fear of failure is actually a fear of success. Perhaps I can admit to myself that success can be scary. Taking up space and feeling exposed and vulnerable is enough to freak anyone out really. Yet us performers and artists do this day in and day out. For other's it's impossible to understand why we would put ourselves through this. But when the why is strong, and when you're so passionate about creating, the rest goes out the window! Logic and reason be gone! To just live life with no conditions, operate at our highest selves and achieve the dreams that ignite that spark inside.
What I am learning is that I definitely don't want to live afraid. I don't want to fail, but then I know success is simply failing multiple times until we actually do "succeed," and that it is basically what you define as success, not someone else's version. And if there's some fear around taking up space, I am committed to exploring everything that is holding me back. What it really comes down to is caring too much about other's opinions. And that never did anyone any good!
And here we are again! That word! Well two words! SELF LOVE! Because the more we learn to love all of us, not just the pretty parts, the more we can embrace the fear, and say, "come along old friend, I am ready for the ride!" And slowly that fear becomes smaller and we trust in those big bold dreams again, and in turn the procrastination stops, because we are no longer just doing things aimlessly but focused, determined, knowing that IT IS POSSIBLE!