Tony's conversation reminded me how serving is so important. There is a switch that happens when we decide to approach our work from the point of view of 'What value am I bringing here today' versus 'What am I going to achieve or get by doing it.'
To be absolutely honest with you, I have approached life quite often with the mindset of what can I get here by doing this. And this has funnily enough always been in relation to my work, as opposed to my personal life. It is far easier for me to have a serving mentality in my everyday life, yet not be able to do this in my "working life." It's only really in the last two years, where I have really managed to shift this. Now if I get called for a screen test, or to audition for something, I am going in with the mindset of, 'let me make a new connection today,' or 'I am determined to enjoy this experience,' as opposed to "I need this damn job!" And to me, this is an attitude of serving and wanting to do my best by showing up fully, detached to the outcome, as opposed to attached to what I could achieve only if I am "good enough." The truth is, we all are good enough!
You may think I can't do this thing for other's right now, cause I am struggling. You may think you aren't qualified to serve in your life. It's all a big ass lie!
You may think, in the middle of a pandemic, service isn't really on your mind, and I completely understand that, but Tony really hammers home that-
Crises create opportunities to be of service
When you internalize trauma, you feel powerless, hopeless, anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, and cynical.
When you focus on service to others, you have hope. It lifts you up. You are energized to make a difference.
You can use that energy – turn emotions into action that creates an impact.
You can find some incredible stories in Tony's book Crazy Good Advice: 10 Lessons Learned from 150 Leading Social Entrepreneurs. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Crazy-Good-Advice-Lessons-Entrepreneurs/dp/069291904X
If you need help discovering where and how to start in a bigger way, perhaps a side hustle or even through the full time work you do, Tony gives us some brilliant questions to nudge us in the right direction below:
"You may ask "but why should I?" The question we should be asking is "Why shouldn't you?"
It starts with you.
- What are the unique strengths and gifts that you bring to the table?
- What is the thing that breaks your heart?
- What is the thing that inspires you? These are your source of strength. A purpose to pull you through. You are the source of the solution. But you can’t pour from an empty vessel. It’s important to practice self-care.
You may think, it's easy for someone to say serving is possible when they are a Ted X speaker and an author or just generally successful.But actually it's what they were doing before the world knew their name that is key here!
A snippet of Tony's story:
"In December 2018, I told a friend, "I don't want to be alive." I didn't want to harm myself. I just didn't get the point. After years as a corporate executive and after launching a startup company, I just didn't understand the point of it all.
That confession sent me on a journey to discover what it means to live a "Year of Personal Bests."
- What would life look like if I was thriving?
- How would I know if I was thriving?
- What would I measure?
- How would I measure it?
- What would I do?"
If your keen to read Tony's full story, you can do so here: http://https://thriveconnectcontribute.com/how-i-overcame-anxiety-found-the-purpose-of-life-and-lived-a-year-of-personal-bests/
In today's fast paced, rat race culture, we struggle for time to breathe. We all experience anxiety and stress on some level, but we really have more control than we know. If we start thinking about our core values, and what really matters to us, we can start making better choices. Studies have shown it is often only 20% of what we do, that makes up the 80% per cent we have. So if the 20% income you earnt, got you 80% of what you have, I hope you're spending that time wisely. If we are able to serve 20%, we all have the capabilities to have an 80% impact! I think that's pretty reassuring.
We tend to always think "serving" needs to mean inconvenience, or some big gestures. I would argue serving can simply be contributing to making your work environment better, going the extra mile for a colleague, or helping a friend talk through a difficult decision. For me, serving can also be smiling to a stranger on my walk, holding a door open for someone. At its core, it's really about not attaching yourself to results, but doing them anyway. WHY? For the greater good! To truly leave a different kind of dent in the world that Tony talks about. You may ask "but why should I?" The question we should be asking is "Why shouldn't you?"
Don't miss this episode, it's gold!